On a scale of 1-10, how confident do you feel right now? If you’re not feeling confident, don’t worry, you’re not alone. If you are feeling confident, have you ever been told to rein it in with admonitions like, “be more humble” or “you’re being arrogant?” On today’s episode of the Boss Foundations podcast, we’re discussing CONFIDENCE: why it’s so common to not feel confident, and my top three tips for manifesting confidence when you feel at your lowest.
Press play to listen below!
What society says
When you appear confident, society tells you you’re too ambitious, or selfish, or asking to be taken down a peg. But when you internalize the negative messages and act tentatively, you’re seen as less competent and less worthy of promotions and raises.
It’s a double-edged sword: appear to have confidence and you’re dinged, act like you have none and you’re dinged in a completely different way. So what can we do?
Despite all the drama, confidence is still integral to success, so we have to be confident anyway. It’s what allows you to put learning into practice, make big leaps, and do things that scare you. Here are my tips on manifesting confidence.
Focus on the people you serve in life.
Who do you serve? How does your work make their lives better? How can you improve your work so that it improves their lives? What kind of joy are you bringing them? Take the focus off of you and how you’re feeling, and focus on what you’re doing for others.
Tune out the “Blue Meanies”
The Blue Meanies is a reference to a fictional army of music-hating beings in the Beatles cartoon film Yellow Submarine. Many of us have our own Blue Meanies: the voices in your head that tell you you’re stupid, that you have no idea what you’re talking about, that you’re too arrogant.
Tune out these Blue Meanies by focusing on your work. You don’t serve the Blue Meanies, you serve your people.
Assume that you’re entitled to good things
Channel the energy of that amazing meme: “Lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white man.” Instead of doubting yourself or thinking that you “shouldn’t” do this or that, ask first. Speak up first. Don’t talk yourself out of it. Very often, the results will surprise you.
(If you don’t want to assume the privilege and entitlement of a white guy, channel instead the energy of the record number of women, LGBT folk, and people of color who ran for office in the 2016 midterms — the energy of people who have had enough.)
It comes down to just having the audacity to go for it, and seeing what happens.
Share your story
Have you ever had a time where you struggled to feel confident? What did you do to change things? Let me know in our Facebook Group!